Gulbadan

In other equally ridiculous news, Palestinians have been busy killing each other. Yep, that’s right, each other! Apparently, there are two political parties there (one impotent, the other crazy) who recently contested democratic elections, and things have gotten ugly. Supporters of both have been having vicious gunbattles in streets and a dozen or so have died. Since I have done comprehensive and meticulous research on Palestinians, which pretty much makes me an expert on them, allow me to shed some light on the topic at hand. So, just for you, a day in the life of an average Palestinian:

1. Wake up.
2. Look for toothpaste to brush teeth, and curse non-existent economy and the consequent lack of imported consumer goods like toothpaste.
3. Curse father for dying in Israeli jail and leaving family without breadwinner to be able to purchase toothpaste from fancy Israeli store across the fence.
4. Collect stones from rubble of destroyed building nearby.
5. Practice throwing stones at Israeli tanks.
6. Get in fight with neighbor for supporting other political party.
7. Kill neighbor for supporting other political party.
8. Blow up six Israelis coming back from work on bus. Anything less than six will be deemed as inefficient use of scarce resources by the Holy Association for the Complete and Total Annihilation of Infidels.
9. As a corollary to 8, blow up self.
10. Enter Heaven. Mock Saint Peter at the gates for poor attendance on ‘that’ side, and gleefully follow Angel Jibrail to ‘this’ side.
11. Say hi to Mohammad Atta. Discuss complexities of flying planes into tall, narrow structures.
12. Fuck virgins.
13. Finally be able to use as much toothpaste as desired.
14. Curse Eternal Life for being only about fucking virgins and enjoying canals of milk and pomegranate trees. And unlimited toothpaste.

Know what Palestinians have in common with us Pakis? Both our countries have no future.

Ha bloody ha.