Gulbadan

The first time I heard this song from the Arrogant Worms at a friend's house in the city of Multan, it changed my perspective forever. Both for the good and bad.

For the good: it made me realize the importance of udders in the bovine biological system, and the fascinating yet useless factual tidbit that the gas we so fondly excrete from time to time happens to be methane, the same one that lights our heaters and stoves.

For the bad: since I made her hear it, my sexy ex-girlfriend starting permanently calling me 'cow' after this. Yep, that's right, 'cow.' Every time and all the time. In sickness and in health. I believe that was the beginning of the end of a perfectly normal, healthy, horny relationship. How can a woman take you seriously when she incessantly calls you cow, and that too with a straight face.

I am cow, hear me moo
I weigh twice as much as you
And I look good on the barbecue
Yogurt, curd, cream cheese and butters
Made from liquid from my udders
I am cow, I am cow, hear me moo (moo)

I am cow, eating grass
Methane gas comes out my ass
And out my muzzle when I belch
Oh, the ozone layer is thinner
From the outcome of my dinner
I am cow, I am cow, Ive got gas

I am cow, here I stand
Far and wide upon this land
And I am living everywhere
From b.c. to newfoundland
You can squeeze my teats by hand
I am cow, I am cow, I am cow
I am cow, I am cow, I am cow!