Gulbadan

The other day I came across something very interesting. That is, something very interesting besides steamy scenes of Scarlett Johannson making out in the film Match Point or a downloadable clip of the Kareena Kapoor song yeh mera dil pyar ka deewana from the Indian movie Don. (For those of you who do not know, I consider Kareena Kapoor to be the hottest, most delectable Indian film actress, one who always, without exception, sets my heart racing and gets little Johnny to work for his dues. At this point in time I will willfully ignore certain of you who must be crying "ewww, she is such a fat cow," or "ewww she is a horrendous-looking worthless actress," or "eww Sohaib you have such a sick demented mind.")

Coming back to my point: the other day I came across a certain map that was posted on an American Armed Forces military journal, alongwith an article explaining the darned thing, that argued for the forced changing of borders in the Islamic World. The article said that borders in the Middle East are artificial, that they breed discontent and terrorism, and hence must be forcibly altered to take into consideration the concerns of various affected minorities in the region, and give them some semblance of autonomy finally. This, they said, will solve most of the US' problems and make the region more stable and less of a fuck-up than it currently is.

I post both before and after maps below, and find them to be quite interesting. Please take a look and marvel at them. I am obviously too lazy and indifferent to look for and quote relevant sources and links, but just be assured that none of this as ridiculous and made-up as it sounds. Because, as you should know, I, Sohaib Athar - a wise and enlightened moderate of twenty-first century Pakistan, son of an honest and hardworking civil servant, grandson of a one-off failed film producer and suck-up of the British Empire, and direct descendant of a certain social class who mastered the art of onion farming in the rural heartland of the Punjab - never talk out of my ass. Hence everything I say is verifiable, accurate and relevant. :D




Some comments on the map:
1. Notice the little thing called Free Balochistan, with Gwadar as its shining port-metropolis. Good idea, I say.
2. Apparently they want the entire of NWFP to go with Afghanistan. It's a natural linkage, to be honest. And I must say I know quite a few Pathans who'd be happy with that arrangement, and quite a few non-Pathan Pakistanis who'd be happy with it too. :p
3. Free Kurdistan! Holy shit, the idea of giving a free country to the largest ethnic minority in the world not to have a free country is simply mind-boggling! Who came up with that piece of insanity?
4. Sunni Iraq and Shia Iraq as two separate states. Hmm, I bet the Iranian black-turbans will have something to say about the latter. And Baghdad as a city-state, ala classical Athens or Sparta. Cool!
5. Israel, pre-1967 borders. Hah, so much for the dream of Greater Israel. In. Your. Face. Ben-Gurion!
6. Islamic Sacred State, comprising the two holy cities of Mecca and Medina. Imagine the Vatican City, with twice the holiness, twice the imposing architecture, and twice the archaic medieval laws!