Gulbadan

So the other day I was watching my favourite news channel, Fox News. I must say, that brunette newscaster with the short skirt needs to go into the television hall of fame for the immense amount of cuteness she possesses.

Hmm, now that I've finished objectifying her and satisfied my carnal side, let me come to the matter at hand. So the channel was promoting a documentary made in the US about, what else, Islamic fundamentalism, our favourite topic of discussion. In the documentary (whose name I have unfortunately and sadly forgotten) they were showing real clippings from television channels in the Middle East, trying to prove the point that Muslims are inherently hateful and vile (ooh, shit, that's quite an assertion). Out of the few clips they showed, I remember two:

1. Iraqi television. Religious gathering being addressed by a bearded, clad-in-white maulvi. He suddenly takes out a sword (yep, a real, sexy, flashing, gold-encased sword!!) and says (and I rely on the subtitled translation in English since my knowledge of Arabic is as good as a fish's knowledge of the desert): "with this sword, we must go forward and cut the heads of the invading infidels." Loud cheers. I am left laughing my posterior off. Talk about excellent dramatic effect. (Yes I am purposefully finding humor in the situation. You can comment on its gravity as much as you like. I don't care about that.)

2. Palestinian television. Woman interviewing six year old child:
(again, sadly, I am relying on the provided subtitled translation)
Woman: Do you know who Jews are?
Child: Yes. They are descendants of pigs.
Woman: And how do you know that, son?
Child: It is written in the Quran.

Seriously, he actually said that! Actually, he's not alone in thinking that. An excellent, excellent discussion on the topic can be found here.

I have also been smiling to myself for the past two days because of a banner hanging next to a mosque near my house that, apparently, comments on the recent passing of the Women's Protection Bill as law in the Senate:

Azadi-e-nuswaan: ikisween saddi ka sab se bara fitna!
(Emancipation of women: the biggest curse of the twenty-first century!)
Lecture by Dr. Israr Ahmed

As I am currently struggling to control my laughter, I will depart, but with another gem I read on some website brought forward by some dude called Kashif:

kal jo be-parda nazar aain chand bibian
akbar zameen main ghairat-e-qaumi say ghar gaya
poocha jo un say woh aap ka parda kya hua
kehnay lageen aqal pay mardon ki parh gaya

Translating it will simply spoil its fun, so I apologize for the inconvenience.