Gulbadan

So my four years in LUMS are almost drawing to a close. I joined the institution with great hopes and aspirations. Most of them included me impressing numerous women with my superior intellect and wit and making them swoon left right and center, spending my time surrounded by them and abandoning londa pursuits once and for all. Sadly that never materialized and most of my time here was spent enjoying (begrudgingly of course) the sausage fest that happens to be my posse of friends. There were instances here and there that broke the norm, but mostly I was a social outcast playing video games in a loud computer lab surrounding by a rather motley crew of londay.

Having said that, I’ve now decided to chronicle my time at this esteemed institution year-by-year, and will be doing so in two parts (it's too taxing to write an account of all four years in one go). First part follows (covering years one and two):

First year:

Being the ungrateful twit that I am, started out sullen and glum that I wasn’t admitted to any sexy American university and will now have to spend my time in this hell-hole.

Was impressed by the amount of poondi on show. Fantasized about getting it on with most of them.

Life’s first interaction with so many Karachi-people, of which LUMS was flooded with, was rather shocking. Naturally, made fun of their accent. Ironic that will be spending first year out of college with them. Heh.

Spent more time wasting money at Neomatrix playing games than at college. Realized country’s upper-class youth is going to the dogs.

Started doing Accounting & Finance major. Thoughts at the time: oh, this is rather easy and straightforward and I seem to be doing pretty well in it - appears to be something I can do for a living. How fucking wrong was I on all counts.

Developed strong hatred with resident Islam expert Dr.Khalid Zaheer. Reasons were purely personal: he used to have a morning class and a quiz in the beginning, and since I was always lazy I never made it on time and missed most quizzes, resultantly getting my worst grade ever (till date at least).

Closed year in love with a history teacher who never showed up again. Oh what charisma his ponytail had.

Second year:

Made out outside music room. The miffed sound of a drum beat gave a nice, rhythmic flow to proceedings.

Went to India for first time. Realized Indian girls don’t shave armpits regularly. Wondered if things were the same back home. Certain events changed course of life.

Got together with bunch of idealistic, ambitious boys and girls and started AIESEC in Pakistan. Got heavily inspired by certain Aussie girl.

Realized ACF major had no poondi. One student was nice “overall”, while one had a pretty face. Wished for some kind of genetic incubator that would combine the two and come up with a more saleable product.

Doped for first time. Felt disappointed at lack of buzz. Got weird shivering sensation instead that scared the living daylights out of me.

Got involved in some serious hanky panky for thrills and cash. Mostly thrills. Spoiled reputation. Yea, as if that matters.

Got threatened by friend’s father for landing his son in the deepest of all deep shits. Realized hanky panky has limits. Also realized some uncles need not be pissed off.

Closed year interning with some chartered accountants. Started pitying their lifestyle.

// posted by Sohaib @ Wednesday, February 14, 2007